Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
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