That's intense
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
