I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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