Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
