it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
it hurts more in the daytime
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
