All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
