real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
