ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
