idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
