i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
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