HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
