Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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