im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
