she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
