Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
