Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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