Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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