Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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