So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
