It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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