My nipple is on Facebook.
Your tits are I can't wait for
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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