She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
