No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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