Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
