if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
