All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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