Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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