Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
