I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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