Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
nutella sex= disaster
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
