Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
