She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I see more hoeing in ur future
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