why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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