what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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