some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
