I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
