Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
