She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
