no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
