I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
