I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
