if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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