Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
