I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
