I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
it glows. i had to have it.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
