cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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