im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
