So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
