Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
