'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
there's paper in my vomit.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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